She carries, she comforts, she cleans
She feeds and she feeds and she dreams
Just one minute alone for my thoughts,
Just one minute, just me, just a book
Just a warm cup of tea and a soak
Just a face mask, some bubbles, no noise
No wake up call before dawn,
No hands round my ankles.
She hears her name called once again.
I’m hungry, I’m thirsty, I’m scared.
She cooks and she cleans and she sighs
She does it with love, but she hides
in the toilet for an extra few breaths.
She breathes out. Back to the mess.
She bakes and she sings and they scream
I’m not eating, you’re ugly, he’s mean
and she fixes, she heals, she blows
kisses on sore heads and toes.
She tucks into bed and she reads.
She’s so tired but she turns off her needs.
She cleans as she worries and checks
into rashes and bruises and what’s best
for their future, that’s so far away.
She juggles but she gets through each day
She drops off, she picks up, she waits.
She does listen, she just sometimes forgets
appointments, rehearsals, sports teams,
school meetings, world book day themes.
They run and they break things,
She makes threats she will never mean
She looks in the mirror and sees
new lines she has no time to cream
Am I still Me
They play and they laugh and they moan
She feels more love than she’s known
They hug and they fight and they test
She knows of all years, these are best
She cleans and she feeds them. They grow.
And they grow
And they’re grown,
And they’re gone.
Now she cooks and she cleans just for two
She looks forward to those weekends,
So fewShe baths and she reads and drinks tea.She enjoys all her new luxuries.She remembers, she smiles, she longsfor those short years,that then felt so long
I’ve been thinking about writing this blog for some time, ever since I caught my son’s nursery teacher tearing up in adoration she watched my son and I carry out our usual goodbye ritual at the nursery gate. I hadn’t realised before then what a special bonding ritual it is, one which helps us reconnect just before we seperate for the day and helps us to feel reassured if we miss each other while we are apart.
So with this week bringing the start of the new school year, I thought now is a perfect time to share this special trick my 3 year old son and I have developed to help alleviate his anxiety about watching me leave him at the nursery gate. And it’s so fantastically simple, it can work for all ages! He sweetly calls it “charging up our hearts”
This is a week of firsts for so many children; whether they’re starting preschool or reception, leaving mum or dad for the first time, moving into secondary school, travelling to school without a parent for the first time, starting college or leaving home to go to university. With each new change comes a whole new level of independance from Mum & Dad, and most likely a whole new wave of nerves and temporary insecurity! Helping your child feel safe & secure as they get used to these changes is the priority; to give them confidence to embrace the new experiences with excitement, rather than feel anxious or aprehensive about all the unknowns.
Children feel safest when they are in the presence of their mother or primary caregiver. In their presence, children are more confident to go out and explore their surroundings, secure in the knowledge that their safe base is watching over them and will keep them out of danger. But with that can bring fear over any seperation from their safe base. Watching my own son’s anxiety about saying goodbye to me on nursery days got me thinking about how I could reassure him that he was still safe even when he wasn’t with me. I hated the thought of him not fully enjoying his days at nursery if he was missing me or feeling insecure.
So from the day he started nursery at the age of 2, I explained to him that even when he isn’t with me, I’m always in his heart and he is always in mine. I explained to him that because we were in each others hearts all the time, if he ever missed me during the day, he could simply rub his heart or hug himself and I would feel his love. And if he felt his heart getting warm, it’s because I was hugging him from wherever I was (It’s amazing how much a 2 year olds can comprehend!). I made it a habit to remind him of that every time I dropped him off at nursery.
Then one day after nursery he told me that he hadn’t had a good day because he missed me too much, and he didn’t think I was in his heart any more. I realised we needed to make a point of charging up our hearts at every single goodbye to make sure he could feel my love all day long.
So this is the special trick we came up with for “charging up our hearts”:
I kneel on the floor to face him and make eye contact with him.
I place my hand over his heart and he places his hand over mine
We both make a charging up noise (A sort of buzzing “zzzzzzzz” sound!)
We make a loud “DING” together, which marks the charging up cycle complete!
Quick kiss and cuddle and we almost always seperate peacefully and without tears!
Feel free to try it yourselves, it really does work! (the zzzzzzz sound is optional with teenagers!) Or even see if you can invent your own ways to charge up your love!
The key thing is about taking those few moments to really connect with your child, make eye contact and focus in on each other. It’s so easy for mornings to feel rushed and stressful and you can so easily just end up barking orders at your children to get out the house on time. So this simple goodbye ritual, which takes less than 30 seconds, helps to reset all that stress and allows you to say goodbye properly to best prepare your child for the new challanges ahead!
I set up FairKind Child soon after having my son and finding it so hard to buy ethical, unique toys that are good for the environment. When I mention that I don’t supply plastics I am sometimes asked why – “What’s so wrong with plastic toys?” There are some good toys out there, such as construction toys, that are made from plastic. It can sometimes be hard to resist them. Thankfully more and more alternatives are being produced. I select my stock based on it’s impact to the people and communities that produce them, as well as the world and the child that plays with them.
Here are a few reasons why I choose not to supply Plastic to children.
The most obvious one..so many broken toys are sent to landfull each day because they cannot be recycled. The only way is to dismantle them into their material parts e.g. remove the metal bits, fabric bits etc. If they are still working you can offer them to a charity.
Phthalates: What are phthalates?
Have you seen the sign “BPA Free” on baby’s bottles and other plastic items? BPA is a Phthalate. Phthalates are added to plastic to strengthen it. They have been identified as responsible for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, breast cancer, obesity and type II diabetes, low IQ, neurodevelopmental issues, behavioral issues, autism spectrum disorders, altered reproductive development..and if that wasn’t enough – male fertility issues!!
As more and more is known about these groups of chemicals, each Phthalate is identified to cause health problems. Pregnant women and young children are more at risk.
Initally it was DEHP, which was replaced with DiNP only to find that DiNP is linked to male genital birth defects and impaired reproductive function in adult males.
Once BPA was identified as a health risk it was replaced with bisphenol S (BPS). Unfortunately now BPS has been around long enough for health effects to emerge. As these new chemicals are produced, there is insufficient information to identify their hazards over long periods.
HOWEVER, Cotton, Wood, Wool and other natural materials that have been around for centuries, are natural materials that have been tested for generations, so we know these materials are safe and long lasting for children’s products.
The images below show data relating to content of Phthalates in toys intended for children 3 or under.
Unfortunately a number of companies do not comply with the necessary Regulations when exporting to the EU. This means that some high street toys are also subject to health risks. (Data taken from Prosafe website)
70% of the world’s toys are manufactured in China. There is nothing wrong with buying from China. Some tribes are fair trade and produce excellent toys. However when buying mass-produced plastic toys from China, you can never be sure of the production quality.
More so, China has produced their own verion of the CE mark and named it the China Export mark!! Try to become familiar with the differences between this and the real mark which has larger spacing in between – it’s tough to spot!
Here are some more statistics from Prosafe – a Non-Profit organisation that seeks to strengthen safety in products sold throuought the EEA.
Sadly toys that were least compliant with the legal CE toy Regulations were Rattles and Push along toys (‘O’ is Other).
You can see these statistics in more detail at
Bump Baby & Toddler Show
The Copthorne Effingham
Gatwick Hotel, RH10 3EU
Sunday 1st October 2017
We are really looking forward to exhbiting at this upcoming BabyTodd show, the biggest baby & toddler event in Sussex!
You can pre-register here for free family entry
or visit www.babytodd.co.uk for more information.
Sign up to enter into our free prize draw for a chance to win this adROARable knitted dino – suitable for children (and adults) of all ages!
Competition entry is free and available to UK residents only.
This competition closes on 1st October 2017. Entries after this date will not be included in the prize draw.
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Tribal Hearts Festival
Whittlebury Park, Northamptonshire
11th-14th August 2017
We are so excited to be bringing the FairKind stall to this years Tribal Hearts Festival!
Tribal Hearts is a weekend of celebrating natural living with family life, supporting parents in raising a healthy, happy tribe! With an emphasis on creativity, play and nature, children are immersed in opportunities to explore and learn, express themselves and gain confidence whilst supporting all areas of development…All the things we love here at FairKind, so we cannot wait to be surrounded by so many like-minded families for the whole weekend!